xerophreak

( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

http://www.overheardeverywhere.com/archives/004598.html

Female flight attendant (managing to bump beverage cart into a seat): Whoops, sorry! Woman driver!

Flight over Honolulu, Hawaii

Overheard by: Gaby Young

http://www.overheardeverywhere.com/archives/004597.html

Woman to man: No, I didn't enjoy it. They tied me up!

Clifton Park, New York

Overheard by: Don't Want to Imagine

Hello my fellow shitters. It has been quite some time since I last asked for some advice of the crappy sort but I am in quite a predicament right now so it is the perfect time to post again.

I have a lovely gay friend named Matthew. I love him dearly in a completely platonic way. He lives in Chicago and he's coming down to my place (about ten hours south) for Thanksgiving Break. He asked if he could tag along to my family get togethers on Thanksgiving Day as he has no where else to go because his family moved to Colorado. I would more than love him to come with me however...half of my family is okay with homosexuality, a few are not. Also, although I love my uncle, he can be quite the asshole when it comes to politics and likes to debate. He and Matthew have completely opposite beliefs. My mother knows of Matthew and his orientation so that wouldn't be a problem. I considered talking to Matthew beforehand to make him pretend to be my boyfriend for the day but that might be worse as my uncles like to torment boyfriends/girlfriends of family members. They ALL know I have a gay friend who lives in Chicago so if I just introduced him as my friend, they would know and awkwardness might ensue. Is there any advice you have for me? I hope so.

Shitfully yours,
Gina

Hi,

I've decided to do my xmas shopping early, but I haven't a clue what to get people...

I'm buying for -
Mum and dad

My brother, his wife, and 3 year old boy

and half a dozen or so friends.


What should I buy them?

So - I booked a trip to disneyland paris at the weekend, and now I find that phantom manor will be closed - whatever should I do?

I've already sent them some hobo seamen and simple green btw...

http://www.overheardeverywhere.com/archives/004596.html

Conductor: This train will terminate at Stratford. The next station is Waterloo. Please change here for the Bakerloo, Northern and Waterloo & City lines. Alternatively you can also change for Waterloo International, catch the next Eurostar, go to Paris and show the french how to play rugby.

London
England

Overheard by: kat

what should i do about someone who is going to sell their (what appears to be decent condition) home (it has serious problems that would take more than just a home inspector to find) to some unaware buyer?

Long time watcher, first time poster. I give you two blanks of my crazy kitty, Binx.
( behind here )

( ...so I might be a bit rusty at these. )

http://www.overheardeverywhere.com/archives/004595.html

Kid stopping to look at object on the ground: Look, glass!
Father: That's a lolly.
Kid: No, it's glass!
Father: It isn't glass, it's a lolly.
(kid picks up object and puts it in his mouth)
Kid: No, it's glass.

Melbourne
Australia

Overheard by: Never found out what it was.

What's on the agenda for this week?

Tonight: Continue to edit and mold final memo. Start research for Corrosion exam.
Tomorrow: reschedule appointments from the end of this week to the beginning of next week. Meet with Calligrapher. Read for the rest of the week. Finish Memo, continue to research for Corrosion exam.
Wednesday: Turn in Memo, Begin drafting Corrosion exam.
Thursday: Go to Class... drive to COLLEGE STATION, arrive by 3pm!

by Saturday 11pm: finish and turn in Corrosion exam.

I need some Godwin/Kitler macros, stat. As many as you've got to hand.

ThankS

( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )

http://www.overheardeverywhere.com/archives/004594.html

Little boy: Today is the perfect day for a yellow balloon.

Restaurant
Vancouver
Canadia

http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/007958.html

Boss: We're going to have to stroke his penis.

Downtown Brooklyn
New York City, New York

Overheard by: Miss Blige

http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/007957.html

Guy in next cube: In my opinion, a chimney is no place to raise a family.

Pennsylvania

Overheard by: ReRo

http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/007956.html

Chubby secretary: So, my friend from college was roommates with this guy who went to high school with this girl whose brother was eaten by Jeffrey Dahmer!
Friend: Oh my god! You could have been killed!

Tampa, Florida

http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/007955.html

Coworker, ranting about the office copier: Guess what I have to do in five minutes. Get a "training" session on the 250 from Bob. Yeah, I know. If the 250 were a person, I would be its gynecologist, I know it so well! I have been into its regions and back, retrieving jammed paper!

Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Living for Friday

http://www.overheardintheoffice.com/archives/007954.html

Worker #1: Does anyone know who owns the black Civic out front?
Worker #2: Why's it gotta be a black Civic? Why can't it just be a civic?

Redmond, Washington